Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Very Scary.



That is how life is feeling at the moment. I'm 10 weeks in and absolutely terrified of this little person growing inside of me.

I can't shake it. I've been diving in prayer, but the fear still lingers. 

3 kids.

No car space.

Not the doctor I wanted.

Not the town I want to be in.

No room in the house.

Not very many excited family members. 

It's hard. 

I'm having trouble functioning day in and day out due to the lack of food, and the crazy fatigue I can't shake. Not being able to stand up for more than 3 minuets sucks.

There's no plan.

I can't handle not having a plan. This is wear my fear comes from. I have to have a plan for everything. I MUST know what is happening next.

I put down books for weeks if they become too intense. But this isn't something I can walk away from-obviously.

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited by this baby-I know that it is truly a gift. But the fear is what keeps me up at night, and the first thing I think of when I wake up.

10 weeks.

It's all happening so fast. 30 will go by even faster.

I just don't feel prepared for this. 

7 comments:

  1. Thanks for being so honest, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and sending good confidence vibes your way darling!!

    Kels
    storiesofkel.blogspot.com

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  2. I'm a planner by nature, and my second baby was a surprise. Terrified me a lot. We went through a lot of changes and it was so by the seat of your pants. I hated it. Trust in God. He'll get you through. I'll be praying for you.

    Sometimes you need to take it one day at a time.

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  3. Sending you warm *hugs*, momma. I know you can do this. And do it well, with grace.

    <3

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  4. It is definitely one of those moments that I think most moms go through when they are pregnant. At least I did...I lived on the other side of everyone I knew when I was pregnant with Reagan.
    Hugs to you ... this will pass.

    xoxo
    Lanaya
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  5. Sometimes you just have to faith that it will all work out for the best. Pregnancy and motherhood are scary. You worry about all the financial and material aspects of it. I did. But what finally helped me to keep my mind sane was realizing that I wouldn't have been blessed with my kids if I wasn't equipped the handle all the things that came with becoming a parent.

    Keeping you in prayer. You will get through this!

    ReplyDelete

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