Sunday, November 18, 2012

My thoughts on "Submission"




Can I say, first off-that I am SHOCKED at the response from my last post. I cannot thank you all enough who took the time to comment, send me tweets, facebook messages, etc. You have no idea the impact that had on me. I do plan on doing a vlog to address this on a bigger scale, so stayed tune for that!

So on to my topic for today. As I sit in my comfy chair, snuggled with a blanket-the Lord leads me to Titus 2:4-5.


"4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Most ladies I have heard this verse over and over again when it comes to being a Christian homemaker, but the part that sticks out to me today is: "...and submissive to their own husbands."

This excerpt has always stuck out in my mind. Why would this have to be stated? Isn't it kind of common sense?

Well, apparently not. Have you ever heard (or maybe you've said it yourself)-

"We should do XYZ because the pastor says so."

"Joel Osteen said that you should be doing this."

"I know that you don't want me to do this, but the pastor thinks it would be the best idea."

"I don't care if you want to go to this church, I know that so & so's church is better for me."

Some of these are extreme examples, but trust me I have heard (or maybe even participated in) these lines.

The problem with these, is the wife is placing another man over her husband. She is choosing to place this man above her husband, regardless of what Christ has asked her to do.

Now I know what you're gonna say, "But my pastor is more spiritual. My husband doesn't know what he's doing. God told me to do this."

Hmmmm....

I've done a LOT of studying on what it means to be a Christian wife (I need a LOT of help), and not once do I read, "Only listen to your husband if he is highly spiritual, been to seminary, and can lay hands on people and make them sing, dance, and speak in tongues".


What I do read is:

 "22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." -Ephesians 5:21-24

"8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." -1 Corinthians 11:8-9

(I love this verse, simply because it makes me feel like a gift. I feel like God looked upon my husband, and because of His love for Him, created me to be a blessing to him. Such an honor!)

"1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."   -1 Peter 3:1

Not once are there sub-texts that say, "Only submit if you husband if he is 'this'...". 

I KNOW my husband has growing to do spiritually, but you know what? So do I. I truly believe with all of my heart, that the submission to my husband is a way for me to honor not only him,but my Lord as well.


Is it hard? Yes.
Are there times when I don't want to? Umm...yeah.

But then I think of this verse:

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10

And this one: 

"Her children rise up and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently,but you surpass them all.”Proverbs 31:28-29 

I desire for the day that my husband can look at me, and praise me in such a way! (Who knows, he may already feel like this ;)


I do not look at submissiveness as something that is belittling  in fact, I look at it as not only a service ministry but a way to humble myself and learn to "take up my cross".

As I have said before, I do not believe that marriage has anything to do with what we take, but 100% of what we give. Jesus was a servant, and THAT is my ministry model. He didn't just serve those who were "religious" (in reality, he didn't really hang out with those kind anyways!) but those who were flawed and longing. 

How can I, look at my husband and place judgement on his spiritual level as a tool in which I decide whether or not to show love to him? 

You know what I can do?

Serve.

I can serve and BE Jesus to my husband. 

"What if he doesn't want me to go to church?"

Well, ask yourself this- "Will me disobeying my husband by going to church, win him over to Jesus OR will respecting him, praying for him, and spending my time with the Lord in my prayer closet and lifting my husband up to Him, win him over?" 

Remember, 

"1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."   -1 Peter 3:1

This is super hard when you are un-equally yoked with a spouse. But this is also an amazing opportunity to minister and TRULY love like Jesus loves. I have to go to the Lord on a regular basis and ask Him to give me His eyes to see my husband like He does, because only then, can I see him beyond the flaws. 

If we are to be the light to the world, it needs to start in the home-no matter if your spouse is Christian or not, that does not decide the walk that YOU walk. 

You chose to marry that man. You chose to take on a life with a non-Christian, baby Christian, or a mature one. Each one has it's battles, and only YOU can chose how you will live them out. You can live your life miserable, by focusing on the bad-or you can have hope that comes through having faith in Christ. 

This pic is old, I am NOT preggers! 

One way or the other, you WILL reap what you sow. 

If you sow in your marriage unconditional love, grace, and respect-in one way or another, you will get that back.

I cannot not promise that your husband will turn into Francis Chan, but I can promise that the Lord will fulfill hole that you may have, that your husband is unable to full fill. 

I write this today to give you hope. That whatever pain you are dealing with in your marriage can be healed through the Lord.

There are areas in my marriage that are not anything like I expected. There are holes that my husband simply cannot fill. This is when I have to run into the arms of Jesus-or stay feeling empty.

I will never believe that my submissiveness to my husband, does anything but good. At times I may feel like I am sacrificing a bit of myself, but how much did Jesus sacrifice in order to show his love to the world?


Why would I be anything more than willing to do the same?

I hope that my actions in my marriage can touch others, and maybe even show them the love of Christ.
That is my ultimate goal.

What's yours?

"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." 1 John 5:3







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18 comments:

  1. Dominique! i loved this. Never thought about it in this way as how much phrases or thoughts are given that give more respect and attention to others. I obviously am not married and am not in a relationship to respect and honor a husband above others, but am thankful for the awareness even now! it will make me a better wife one day if that is what the Lord has!

    ReplyDelete
  2. BEAUTIFUL post.
    Wonderful verses (I'm going to look them all up now & highlight them if I have not already!)
    And you two are an adorable couple ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so glad you linked this up, I featuring this post on Monday :)

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