Friday, October 19, 2012

10 Ways to Disrespect Your Husband...


You read that right.

10 Ways to Disrespect Your Husband.

The Word says, 

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame brings rottenness to his bones." Proverbs 12:4

I don't know about you, but this doesn't sound very pleasant; although it makes perfect sense. Think about it, if you're one with your husband, and you are constantly disrespecting him-it can take root and cause some serious damage.

"It is better to live in the desert land than a quarrelsome and fretful woman." Proverbs 21:19

Quarrelsome. Oh man, I HATE that word. Why? Cause that is one of my downfalls. There are times where it seems physically impossible for me to walk away from an argument. I feel like it's "my right" to get my two cents in every time I disagree with something.

Yeah, that doesn't end too well.

I've learned in my 4.5 short years of being married, that my part in marriage has nothing to do with me. Seriously. It has everything to do with G. Because that's what love is truly about.

Society has told us that we DESERVE to get back what we put into a relationship, and if we don't, we should leave. That is such a shallow view. Look at Christ's example of the cross-the ultimate experience of love...how many people can say they gave that kind of love back to him in return?

Marriage is supposed to bring us to a completely different place of holiness because it FORCES us to care for the other person more than ourselves. It's hard, painful, and seems downright unfair. But I will say, that when I put G's needs before my own-he comes back and fills up my love tank ;) All those things I would beg and plead for him to do, seem to just happen without me asking.

But enough about my marriage, here's my comprehensive list of 10 ways to disrespect your husband. Check the list. If you're doing any of these things, I challenge you to change it up a bit...and see things in your marriage transform-even if it's just your heart towards your man.

1. Cut him off during an argument, discussion, or just hanging out having a conversation. 
This was actually the only one my husband could come up with. I think he was just being nice. But he says that by cutting him off (in a hostile conversation or otherwise) makes him feel like I don't value what he has to say. Sometimes I don't even realize do it, but I do seem to talk over or cut him off quite a bit.

2. Compare him to other husbands.
Just don't do it. Doesn't matter if you're just pointing out something awesome about your bestie's man-he doesn't care. All he can hear is that that man is doing something that he's not, or that he's doing it better, or that you're thinking about another man. This is just a HUGE no-no.

3. Pull away from him in public.
This is a sure fire way to embarrass him. I watch women do this all of the time. They get upset, and when their man tries to hold their hand or even rub her hair they yank away like he's got a disease. This makes YOU look petty and childish, 

4. Expect him to do something just because you ask.
Uggh. So guilty. I used to get really mad if I asked G to do something and it would take him like an hour to do it. This was the cause of most of our arguments in the beginning. 

5. Start anything with, "You need to..."
You are not his momma.

6. Refuse sex.
This is such a huge problem. You want your marriage to get better? Have sex. Seriously. How on earth can you even think for a second that your husband can pour out love to you if he isn't being loved the way he NEEDS to be loved? Remember, your part in marriage isn't about you.

7. Talk negative about your husband...to ANYONE.
"I have two children-if you count my husband". This seems like a harmless joke, but it's not. Don't de-value your husband to others. I have a friend who I've known for years, and she's almost been married as long as I have. I have NEVER heard her say anything negative about her man, so in return there is nothing negative to focus on. He is widely viewed as a man of God, with a wonderful love for his wife. Why? Because she keeps his faults between them, but lifts him up to others. This is something I am really trying to work on.

8. Make a major decision on your own.
Want to knock your love from head-of-household? Then start a job, buy a car, go back to school, etc. without discussing with him first.

9. Don't respect his discipline of the children.
This is how you create a brat. After your husband corrects them, go and baby them because they're crying. You're the momma, and I KNOW discipline of your babies are painful, but you can't go behind him and erase the rules he has placed. Sometimes I have to walk away when he gets on to the kids, but I know it's for their own good. Your children NEED to see you respect your husband, or they will respect neither of you.

10. Argue in front of others.
This is SO unattractive! No one wants to see you air out your dirty laundry. This makes you look like that quarrelsome wife. I showed my tail one time in front of some family members of G's...they still are not too fond of me. Take it from someone who knows-Just.don't. do. it. 


I hope this has opened your eyes a bit. I know writing this has made me think of 20 more things I have done or that I do that disrespects the man I love so much. 

I've got a lot to work on, I hope you will take the time to work on you too!


***Have you entered my Birthday Giveaway yet?




18 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! This is something the Lord has been working in me for awhile, and #7 is actually inspired by a mutual friend of ours! ;) (the good way...not that she does number 7, but the completely opposite!)

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  2. Very true. I think sometime we just get a bit frustrated and act/speak without thinking. Which of course leads to more trouble. But this is very sage advice. I'll have to try and remember them because a few of those I am very guilty of.

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    1. You are dead-on, Reese! I am HORRIBLE about the whole "slow to speak" deal, which causes me to do many of these things. Real love is definitely a learning process.

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  3. Love this post. I need the reminder every so often. Thanks!!

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    1. No problem Rach! Glad you enjoyed it! Hope you and the little's are doing well.

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  4. Love this post. I need the reminder every so often. Thanks!!

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  5. I realy enjoyed reading this post Dom....I know I'm guilty of most of these and have been working on them for qaite awhile. We love you both and are so proud of you!

    Love,
    Jenny (MIL)

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    1. Thanks! I have definitely not got all of this down yet, but God has really been pulling at my heart strings with this topic. Love you!!

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  6. Good word! #1 is my biggest no..no to do. I'm getting better, for sure!! Oh, hope to see you @Michaela's weddng Friday. :)

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  7. Great post. I love the all of the examples-- I for sure need to work on a thing or two :)
    -meandmr.com

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  8. Great list! This is so true and I'm learning it all the more! I think one that most women don't understand as being disrespectful and damaging to your marriage is comparison. I don't want my husband comparing me to other women so I shouldn't do that to him! Thanks for linking up at My Homemaking Party, hope you can come back next week!

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  9. Such a great reminder. Sometimes it's hard to refrain from responding like this but oh so important.  I'd  love to have you link this us to Titus 2 Tuesday this week on Cornerstone Confessions.. I hope to see you there. 

    Kathy

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  10. What a great post. Sometimes its good to have a post tell you all the DONTS rather than all the "do's". I know Ive been guilty of a couple of these. But I love the verses you shared and the reminder you gave! :)

    Im featuring this post in my "pretty things" post today... http://www.agapelovedesigns.com/2012/11/pretty-things-9.html

    ~Maria-Isabel

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  11. Great list! Thanks for sharing this reminder. It's something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.

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  12. Thank you for your stance on marriage. I found you from Mercy Ink link up.
    http://www.thelostapron.com/2012/11/apron-making-party.html

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