When they were alone, He explained all things to His disciples- Mark 4:4
How much alone time do we really spend with God? I had to really think about this one today. I read the devotion over at My Utmost for His Highest, and this was the topic they were discussing.
One of the things that were written that hit me the hardest was this:
"But as long as their is any there is any doubt that we are unworthy, God will continue to close us in until He gets us alone."
What is being said here, is that it's only when we are alone with God that we can truly see ourselves in His light. When we don't see the things that are poisoning our lives, it's where God does close in on us until we can be alone with Him.
I have questioned since I have lived here, why I wasn't making true connections with people? Why did I feel so alone? While reading this passage, I had tears in my eyes. I understand now, that it may just be because I haven't gone to the Father as much as I need to be. I haven't chosen Him to be the one I cry to when I hurt, or vent to when I am angry. I don't spend as much time with Him as I should. It's a sad state to be in. The One person who loves me beyond anything I can imagine is the One I shut out the most.
Of course, it is also funny that the day I read this is the day that I begin my morning with yoga. Meditation on Jesus and how I need Him to guide my day. Funny how He prepares out hearts for a message before we even realize it.
In other words, I know that reading that message was sent from Him. This morning is already filled with His wonders. No wonder what I have been missing out on.
Now, an example of the closest I have ever felt with God?
Me and Chaney in India. 2007
Never in my life have I ever experienced God in the way that I did in India. I felt that is Jesus was physically walking the earth right now, He would have been where we were. In the slums, helping people. Feeding them, healing them, quenching their thirst with the Word. Best days of my life. He also gave me the best birthday there too. I turned 21 and celebrated at the Taj Mahal. It was awesome! I need to get back to the mindset that I had while there. There were no distractions, so focusing on Jesus was a bit easier than the domestic life I have here at home.
I need to be alone with Jesus more often...